Raising Independent Thinkers

A country is only independent when its citizens are independent, not only physically but introspectively too. Celebrating Independence Day with my family today got me thinking about whether I; as a parent am doing enough of rights to raise an independent thinker.  Somewhere along this journey we as parents have unintentionally suppressed the term “Independence”. Independent thinking and Innovation is the key ingredient to raising a happy, confident and a successful individual. Just as parenting is an ongoing process, raising independent thinkers is also an ongoing process. A parents’ ultimate goal is to raise an individual who becomes self-reliant in the future. I feel I am always playing this tug of war, where I want my child to still need me and at the same time I also wish he would be mature enough to do things independently. Am I confusing my child??? Maybe…

What kind of characteristics should an independent child possess according to you? Does being independent mean following a time table all the time, finishing their homework on time, eating proper meals on time, attending all the classes or going to bed on time? This may be a part of being independent, but does it really end here? I don’t think so.

I am not an expert or a child psychologist, but over the years parenthood has taught some lessons that I would like to share with you guys.

There are many ways in which we can foster independent thinking in our children:

1)      Try and be less around them:

Of course it is imperative to supervise them but while administering them, we turn into this genie that appears the minute our child yells “mom/dad I need help!” We need to just pacify ourselves, it is okay if he/she cannot do it in the first try, let them try again, they will surely figure it out eventually. It is only after a number of unsuccessful tries that we jump in to guide.

2)      Encourage them to get out of their comfort zone:

Children tend to build an invisible cocoon of comfort around them, making it difficult for them to accept any changes. Encourage them to go on school trips and excursions, make new friends, and explore new hobbies. They do need to follow certain safety norms, but never get afraid of exploring a new sport or adventure. Talk to them about the different choices, some may be wrong, but that’s absolutely okay. One learns from their mistakes.

3)      Let them fight their own battle:

A lot of games eventually lead to arguments and many times children come home crying to their mommies because their friend didn’t give them a fair chance. All children experience such moments at various stages of life, but never to get disheartened by it. These are all part and parcel of growing up; parents should not get involved in the matter at all. Let the child use his/her own surviving skill to overcome such challenges. That will boost a child’s confidence and the ability to tackle all genus’s of situations.

4) As I have mentioned in my first post “Teaching Financial Responsibilities to Kids” too, finance is a very important sector which can be taught only by parents:

Kids learn all kinds of subjects in schools, but learning how to handle one’s finances can only be taught from home. Just like other subjects, financial literacy also cannot be learnt overnight. Talk to your kids about the importance of saving, spending in a budget, and the basic expenses that need to be focused on first. Make sure your child sits with your child when you are planning your monthly expenses. They may not find it interesting at first, but eventually you will be surprised at their involvement.

                

      These were some of the points that I learnt through trial and error over the years, but today I can confidently share it with others. In the same manner children also grow and built confidence to decide between the right and wrong.

My parenting journey is no different from others, but somewhere along this juggle between studies and extra-curricular activities, we tend to miss out on a few basic but important exercises which I wished to share. If you have some amazing tips on “Raising Independent Thinkers”, do share on the comment section below.